LIFE CHEZ DEE

I have read, read, read and read so many pieces, articles, writings, thoughts and experiences of others’ grief. Those who are grieving parents, grandparents, distant relatives, friends, siblings, children, babies (those who were born and lived a short while, those born sleeping, or those lost before they reached term). I’ve probably focussed more on reading about those who have experience of child loss, since my experience of this has been far more overwhelming and debilitati

Losing a child is different to any other loss. My child died, and on every possible imaginable level, that is wrong. The death of a child is not something anyone is prepared for or should ever happen. As a mother, the instinct to protect your child is always there. Not being able to protect your child; or save your child from dying goes against everything that motherhood stands for. This is not the natural order of things, and goes against the normal cycle of life. Watching

I wanted to talk about Edward's place; Edward’s grave. This might seem like a strange subject to talk about, but as this is going round in my mind, and I’m in the habit now of offloading all that stuff, then this is something I need to talk about and share. Edward is buried; I couldn’t bring myself to have Edward cremated. I watched him die. I visited him daily for the two weeks until we buried him. He was beautiful. For me, it felt like I needed to have that vision in my h

Today we had a day out … as a family … out in the outdoors. We donned our walking boots, but also plenty of layers, hats, scarves, gloves as the weather was pretty cold, very windy … well, we are in Scotland. We’re staying just outside Killin in a lovely cottage, one of many in fact, in a stunning location, surrounded by hills, fields, and just nothingness as far as you can see. It was a last minute decision to come away, but I think we were just really lucky in finding some

We’ve just spent the day with Meningitis Now at one of their Forever Days, to support families who have been affected by meningitis in some way. The day was held at Alnwick Castle, Northumberland. We knew it was a bit of a trek for us, but given that it was ages since we had been on a support day, and given that we had nothing planned this weekend, we decided to apply to attend the Forever Day, and make a weekend of it. We managed to get a very cheap deal with a Premier Inn n