LIFE CHEZ DEE

Losing a child is different to any other loss. My child died, and on every possible imaginable level, that is wrong. The death of a child is not something anyone is prepared for or should ever happen. As a mother, the instinct to protect your child is always there. Not being able to protect your child; or save your child from dying goes against everything that motherhood stands for. This is not the natural order of things, and goes against the normal cycle of life. Watching

Its funny how over analysis comes into play when something significant happens to you. It makes you think, and question, and ask, and challenge. You learn what things really matter; what your priorities are; you look at things from a different perspective. Losing my child was devastating; it turned my world upside down. It has made me overthink and overanalyse, it has made me oversensitive and vulnerable. But this over analysis doesn’t stop at situations, the company you keep

Valentine’s Day … What does that day say to me? Well it evokes so many emotions for me. The first thing which comes to mind for me, and most people I’d guess, is love. Love for a husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend. The person you fancy who gets the card with the question mark. Should it be made obvious who sent it, or should it be left for them to wonder … The latter probably being a recipe for upset, and thankfully (she says with much relief) something I’ve never had to ex

It was suggested to me that I should sit in a café and write my blog. It was my minister who suggested it. Running the charity is sometimes quite solitary, and so too is the life of a writer. It was his opinion that not only would it offer some company for me; a feeling that I was amongst others, rather than sitting alone at home. To be honest it never occurred to me that I had quite a solitary existence, quite the contrary in fact. I suppose there are so many occasions when

5th December is a date etched well and truly in my psyche. Three years ago was probably the most horrific and traumatic day I have ever, ever had, or ever will have. The day when my boy, my beautiful, funny, cheeky, bundle of energy, became very ill; seriously ill; and didn’t get better. 5th December 2016 was the day that Edward died. Today I woke up to the most beautiful red sky, obviously Edward hard at work making his presence felt by setting the sky alight on this third a

Today I went for a walk …. A Nordic walk. Those of you who read my blogs regularly, will know how much I love Nordic Walking. I’m hooked. I’ve skipped a few sessions. We’ve been away on holiday, and of course the Summer Holidays have made things a bit tricky for me to go for my walk with poles as I need to be around for Oliver. That’s not to say that I’ve not been walking, goodness no. We’ve done lots of walking during the summer holidays, and particularly on our break in Cor