LIFE CHEZ DEE

This is a little story, as the title suggests, about a cat and a mouse. The title brings the Tom and Jerry duo to mind I expect, and thinking of this infamous pair and the chaos they leave in their wake, you wouldn’t be wrong in assuming there may be similarities in the story I’m about to tell you. The cat who features at the start of my story is my lovely, yet useless cat Pablo, and the mouse he decided to bring in through the cat flap. Pablo, is the loveliest cat anyone c

I’ve reached the end of this chapter on my counselling journey, and what a journey it has been. I have learned so much … so much theory; so much about others; so much about myself. I’ve always been a deep thinker, an overthinker, a very reflective person …. looking outwardly at others, and what might be going on for them, and looking inwardly at what’s going on for me … but this last few months of learning, listening, thinking, reflecting, processing and journaling has taken

It’s the last session in this Advent series I’ve joined. The course has been about hearing and listening, and today we are invited to go to a very deep place, where we have to listen with our hearts and not just our ears; a place where reading and understanding are just not enough. Light of the world, you stepped down into darkness We begin as always with listening to a song, and again as always, I’m not keen. But I do listen to the words, because as always there are always

Well I don’t know if it’s a coincidence, or whether my words were read and absorbed, but my comments regarding being unprepared for our advent course sessions, and how this felt very strange to me, seem to have been listened to by someone (maybe God was listening after all), because I received both an email and a letter with the details of the content of what we would be covering over the next two weeks on the advent course. So I’d better have a read through and prepare … Th

I didn’t sleep last night. Happy that we’d had such a lovely, albeit very cold and wet, day out in Manchester to celebrate Justin’s birthday, and to see my big boy, who is loving University life, but goodness how I miss him. We ate, drank, chatted, and wandered and it was such a lovely day together. Such a bittersweet time. The birthday celebrations for Justin, and yet the memories of 5 years ago are so painful. 5th December is a date etched into my heart. The day five yea

We’re in Advent … how soon this time of year comes round again. Again I’ve signed up for an advent course with Church having really enjoyed the last one I did. I haven’t been in church for a long time – Covid put a stop to that, and I really don’t like online church, but covid aside I think I’m out of the habit of going. Just saying that makes me wince. It isn’t a very nice way to describe my absence actually is it? It shouldn’t be that you go to church from force of habit

Have you seen me lately? You might have missed me, there’s a lot less of me now than there was 6 months ago. I’ve been trying to lose weight, and really making a conscious effort to, but in a way which was not only going to be effective, but also steady and indeed sustainable. The science is all there. Consume less than you burn in energy and the weight will come off. It’s true. But it’s been hard. I’m not as young as I once was, and just cutting down, doesn’t actually cut

We’ve been out out. Doesn’t happen too often these days. Yes we go out, as a family, with the boys, we go out for lunch or coffees, but rarely do we get dressed up and go out … just the two of us … and we even stayed out all night! I was both delighted and privileged to be invited to a dinner dance at Derby County Football Club, by Steve Dayman, founder of Meningitis Now. Right from the day Edward died, Steve has been there for us. Steve founded Meningitis Now (or Meningitis

I haven’t written for a such a long time. I’ve wanted to say so much, and yet there just seems to have been so much stopping me, so much getting in the way. It’s ironic, given that when so much is happening, when so much is in my head, this is the first place I turn to … but it’s a little different at the moment. I've been bogged down with so much, struggling with life, grief, college, thinking of Oliver in his final year at primary school, thinking of William now at Univers

I’m writing this piece, and contained within will be me talking about that which will be a revelation to most of you. Having left school and further education with no degree and no A levels I’ve always wondered what if. I’ve always regretted not having gained these qualifications at the time I should have, but hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it. In all honesty I didn’t want to do A levels or a degree at the time in my life when I was supposed to. I’d had enough of educat

So today is Father’s Day. Always a day which we celebrate or should I say acknowledge in our house, yes we do presents and cards and such, but it really is also just an ordinary day. As I’m up and about this morning, being busy, doing some meal prep for this evening, having a brew, my thoughts begin to wander … as they do. I think about Justin, and just what a great father and husband he is, and how much he does with the boys, and for me. I think about Edward, and how Justin

I lost my voice recently. Not physically, but it could just as easily have been. There was so much I was thinking about, experiencing, processing that I needed to write about, but for one reason or another, I felt unable to put those thoughts, feelings and emotions into my writing, or at least writing I was able to publish. I was totally lost. I know I don’t usually hold back; I’m more than aware that my writing is raw and from the heart, but I knew that the raw emotions I wa

Today is 23rd April, and for those who don’t know, it is also St George’s Day. St George, England’s patron saint, and in true patriotic style I wanted to suitably mark the day someway. I wrote this piece last year for a local news site, and was actually about to reshare it, but thought instead I'd add a bit, change a bit, and republish it. What a coincidence it is that I’m talking about St George today, not because it is in fact his celebrated day, but because St George wasn’

It’s the Queen’s Birthday today. Elizabeth Alexandra Mary, Queen Elizabeth II, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of her other realms and territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, with the style of ‘Majesty’. I wrote the majority of this piece last year for a local news site. I was planning to republish it this year anyway, but in light of the recent death and funeral of Prince Philip I felt I wanted

It’s April already, and with this comes the thoughts, the build up, the feeling which permeates every bit of my being, knowing that we’re in the days approaching Edward’s birthday. What I should be doing is hiding the presents I’ve bought him, finalising party arrangements, putting aside cards which arrive through the letterbox so that all these surprises are there waiting for him to excitedly open when he gets up in the morning. But that is far from reality now. I will get u

This week was the final session of the Lent Course, in which we were exploring bread and wine. From the title of this piece you’d be forgiven for thinking this was going in a very different direction to what I’m actually writing about. Given that the sun has started warming the air for us, for thinking this piece was triggered by my tucking into some lovely crusty bread, a nice piece of ripe brie and a lovely glass of wine to wash it down. Alas no, this piece is not about thi

I needed to write something this week, if only to journal some of the notable happenings of late. Oliver has been back to school, and is now off school again for the Easter holidays. He was glad to go back to school, to see his friends again, even though he hasn’t really missed their company much, given they chat together daily whilst gaming. He’s had far too much gaming time quite honestly, but with not seeing his friends in person, this is where the playground banter has ta

Tonight was the penultimate session in the Lent course, and this evening we were exploring fellowship, and I thought about how nice it was to be fellowshipping again this evening with our usual little group of people. I often glance through the course notes prior to the sessions beginning, and this evening’s notes began with “it takes a village to raise a child”, and went on to talk of the importance of supportive relationships to healthy personal development. This is also tr

In advance of the Lent course this evening I glance through the session notes. Meeting God is the starting point and ultimate goal of true prayer. Asking God to make a difference in our lives and in our world. May your will be done on Earth as in Heaven. After much shenanigans getting into the zoom call, being heard, and trying to work out how to get a picture of the cat off my background, I managed to slip into the meeting. Discussions were already happening as to which city

Today is Mother’s Day. Normally I’m awakened by the boys coming into our bedroom to wake me and wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. Today I woke early, particularly early in fact, and not feeling able to nod off again, I just got up. I do actually quite like it when it’s quiet downstairs, and whilst the boys were still snoozing I got on with all sorts of chores … feeding the cats, letting them out, cleaning the litter, putting a washer load on, emptying the dryer and folding the cl